Today’s episode is a little bit different from the norm around here, where you bring you a more structured-conversational episode. However today we’re changing it up with a candid, raw, real girl chat between Evie and Lindsey. Ready to hear us dive into some real talk on our thoughts on internet culture in general? What it’s like trying to run a business in 2021, dealing with hate and critiques as a personal brand and someone who shares their life on the internet, and staying true to who you are amid internet comparison and everything we’re bombarded with online.
Real Life Vulnerability
After Evie came back from her honeymoon and she felt a disconnect with social media. Over the last year or few months, so much has shifted in her life and business that there’s a part of her that doesn’t know how to show up online anymore, whereas she used to have no questions about it. Creating content felt effortless because she knew exactly who she was and who she was speaking to. Subconsciously over the last 4-6 months, she has had a desire to create a more vibey ascetics in her brands and appearance. Since that has what she has found inspiration in others content.
Know that people who only show the curated are intentionally leaving out the messy parts.
We love vibes and ascetic things, that is genuinely us but is only a small sliver of who we are and our lifestyle. We don’t walk around looking perfect and snapping all these ascetics lifestyle photos all the time.
After Evie came back from her honeymoon and back to Instagram she felt the pressure. She feels true to herself but noticed a weight fall when she got back on social media that hadn’t been there before. It was the identity moment of feeling the pressure of the vibes she was trying to create but didn’t recognize and acknowledge until she came back after the two weeks.
It’s a habit for Evie to romanticize her life. It’s not a bad thing until it comes into her social media. She hadn’t realized she had shut off the one side of her life and only been showing the romanticized side version until she got back from her honeymoon.
Comparison of Social Media
Evie saved a bunch of reels that are super vibey, and were drawn to and now the algorithm is only showing her that. Now it’s making her feel inadequate. It’s creating this comparison that she hadn’t fully noticed until she got back from her honeymoon and then felt the pressure.
Why do we feel like we have to measure up?
Some of it is self-imposed, but what we are forgetting is every single person that’s vibey or looks that way is curated. Not every single moment of that person’s day is like that. It looks perfect because that is only what they have shown.
This then feeds into a cycle of comparison that never stops. It starts with one person trying to be like another person and putting themselves up to that standard and then another person will look at you. It’s a cyclical thing.
It’s not just the perfect that we are comparing ourselves to, we also compare ourselves to the imperfect, the messy, and the vulnerable.
You feel pressure, either way, to show up with makeup and be the magazine vibey girl or you’re looking at the person who is showing the imperfect and that’s where success comes from.
The middle ground is to genuinely be yourself.
If you truly don’t care show people you don’t like vibes, if you like vibes then show that. If you’re feeling one thing one day then share it and the other thing the other day share it.
People’s Opinions
The reason we compare ourselves is we are trying to be other people. No other time in history have we been so online and other people’s opinions everywhere of us. That feeds into the comparison. We feel we have to be a certain way. It all feeds into each other.
You can post one thing and will get conflicting opinions no matter what. You have to navigate how to show up online whether you are doing a personal brand, growing a business, or being on social media. You have to navigate people’s opinions that they’re going to give you whether you want them or not. The more followers people get the more untouchable people think they are, the more people don’t think they will see their comment or care. It’s dehumanizing.
You have to not put your worth and value into other people’s opinions of you. It’s going to happen no matter what.
The paralyzing fear is real and is there, but how can we let that not affect how we show up or not show up at all?
Why would you care what a random person on the internet says about your life that doesn’t know you?
How do we go about creating something when we know someone might have an opinion? It comes down to taking a step back and assessing. Do you know this person, do they have the access or authority, if not, then don’t take it to heart. Our worth and identity don’t come from social media, don’t come from people’s perceptions of us.
Don’t stop yourself from showing up because of fear or comparison. Show up and realize however you are choosing to show up if it’s the real you. You’re going to inspire somebody that might not have been inspired otherwise.
You don’t have to have it all figured out and it’s okay if you fall into ruts.
Show notes
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