April 14, 2022
If you’ve ever felt like something doesn’t sit quite right with you when it comes to the whole “girl boss culture” that’s been sweeping the world for a few years, OR if you’re feeling frustrated or discouraged with unmet expectations, this episode is about to be a BLAST of truth and fresh air for your soul today.
If you aren’t already familiar with one of our best friends, you’re about to fall in love with your new soul sister, Jordan Lee Dooley.
Today we talked with Jordan about how to handle disappointments and missed expectations in life and her journey of walking through some of her own. We then turned the conversation towards being an ambitious person and how to navigate being driven in a deep, meaningful, and sustainable way. Jordan shares her thoughts on “girl boss culture” and how to get off the hamster wheel of “more” that we can so often get trapped in.
This conversation is such a raw, relatable, and truth-filled gift and we promise you’ll walk away with more clarity, inspiration, and peace. If you’re ready to step into a more purposeful approach to setting goals and facing disappointment, this is the episode for you.
Jordan is a National Bestselling Author, Speaker, Founder/CEO of the Own It Academy, and Host of SHE, a top-rated podcast for women. Her trajectory started with a small Etsy shop she started in college, and now her mission is to help women live their purpose and create a livelihood doing what they love so they can leave a legacy. She also sits on the Board of Advisors for Liberty University’s School of Business and has been featured on Forbes, Inc Magazine, SUCCESS Magazine’s 30 Under 30 List, and more. Jordan is an Indiana native, an advocate of working in your slippers, and happily married to her college sweetheart, Matt.
The book initially started differently originally the core message still comes through, but it evolved because writing under your 30s you don’t have a lot of life to pull from so you are writing it as you are living it. Originally it was about identifying what you truly value and making sure you are doing the right things for yourself because the world is constantly telling us you can have it all. We have all gotten caught up in that before, as being ambitious people.
At the end of 2019, Jordan felt like she was on top of the world, everything was going according to plan in her life. Then fast forward six months and she has walked through two pregnancy losses and the entire world in a crisis. Her life and business plans were completely shaken.
A week before her second loss Jordan had turned in what she thought was a completed manuscript. It told the story of the first loss but had finished the book with a cliche of everything is great now and everything was tied up in a pretty little bow of “If things don’t work out, get up and try again”.
We like to pencil in the end of a story and we tend to do that easily, especially when it appears that is what is going to happen.
After Jordan rewrote it for the second time, it ended up being a grief memoir and her publishers came back asking if they could meet and push the release date back a year. It felt like a punch in the gut, but looking back she is thankful for that guidance.
The book became a more relatable message of what you do when you get back up and get knocked down again and again. And something keeps going wrong and you find yourself in this constant state of pending, like the loading symbol on the computer, it’s stuck and waiting. The book doesn’t end with a beautiful bow tied story, it’s open-ended. Still in the middle. The whole book is written from broken dreams.
There is nothing wrong with being ambitious towards your goals. Ambition means to be determined to achieve something meaningful to you. In that sense even if you’re not an entrepreneur, you’re probably still ambitious because you’re determined to do meaningful things in your life.
Just cause you have accomplished 6 and 7-figure years, doesn’t mean you’re any happier in any of them. That factor alone isn’t going to make you a happier more full version of yourself, or what made you more fulfilled. The first year you hit 7 figures might be the most stressful year of your life.
We strive after these numerical things that sound cool to say but never actually ask, “Why that?”. Learning to define “what is enough” is our greatest weapon against pressure. It’s not meaing you don’t set goals or achieve things, it’s that you are setting goals that are aligned and not arbitrary. We often make the numerical thing the goal. “I want to lose 10 pounds” or “I want to make 100k”. When in reality that is not the goal. That is the gas that gets us to the goal. That’s the gas in the vehicle. Look at your business as the vehicle or your body or time. Money is the gas that gets that going. We need to start asking ourselves what is the actual destination? We get too caught up in numbers, set these goals and we don’t even know why we are setting them.
It comes to defining enough. Again it’s not bad to have big goals, but dare to draw the line in the sand and say this is enough because it is not about the dollar amount or what you can say you achieved. It’s the lifestyle, flexibility, or time that it will give you to be with the things that matter most.
Check yourself and see if you are stuck on that hamster wheel of always almost there. Maybe you’ve gone through hard things, maybe you haven’t but don’t forget the perspective that hard things give you. If you have not walked through the refining fire of suffering, you will at some point. None of us are immune. There is a gift in suffering as much as you don’t want to receive it.
There are sometimes things that we think sound great and get caught up in it. We lack perspective at times. Sometimes we have to go back to perspective. What are you chasing?
We can get caught up with the approval, recognition, and what other people see. Check yourself and be willing to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are missing the point because you are too caught up in what other people see or what sounds successful. Sometimes if we can recognize that stuff we can get back on track.
It can be hard and frustrating, you are disappointment is valid but lean back into asking yourself “does this really change the impact I am wanting?”. Coming back to what matters.
At first Jordan was doing her side hustle thing as a hobby, but once it started to get into a full-on business that was when she had to make a decision to fully jump into it. Jordan had completely lost sight of that after hustling after the next thing, it wasn’t until she was laying flat on her back that she was able to think about that. She then remembered why she was doing this, to begin with, it reignited her passion in her heart for not only helping other women do that but also building her business in a way that was conducive for whenever that happened in her life. In a sustainable way, giving her the flexibility.
The why always influences the how. We have a general and deep why of driving what we are doing as a whole. We have a major why and then minor whys to everything little thing we do and if those aren’t clear, then don’t do it.
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WASSUP FRIENDS. We’re Evie + Lindsey, co-founders of this wild partayyy called The Heart University. Our goal is to empower entrepreneurs to kick freaking BUTT in their businesses, dive down into the heart of their why and how, and serve you with all possible tools you’ll need to up-level your business game and CRUSH those goals of yours.
Whether you’re coming to an in-person workshop, joining our online course, or soaking up all the strategies via this blog or our podcast, we’re STOKED you’re here + can’t wait to see you out there kicking butt.
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