September 8, 2020
If you’ve ever been the victim of a keyboard warrior spewing rude, hate filled opinions of you that hit you HARD, you’re in welcome company. The more social media becomes such a huge part of our culture, the more people think they can say whatever they want online and get away with it.
In today’s episode, we’re getting real with you. We open the door wide to the behind the scenes look at some of the comments we’ve received in the past. More importantly, we’re talking about how to actually handle them. We break it down into our top 3 tools and steps to handle online hate with grace and confidence. Plus, we clarify the difference between constructive criticism versus hate, and why one can be healthy and one completely destructive and uncalled for.
We welcome constructive criticism. It helps us grow, become better humans, and provide better experiences in our business. Feedback is crucial to grow and become better at anything regardless of whether it is feedback from an actual client or follower. It’s often a tough pill to swallow, but it is so crucial to get feedback to grow and become better.
Hate and constructive criticism are two different things. Even if the constructive criticism still stings or hurts, there may be truth, validity, or a good heart behind it and you should be both open and receptive to it.
If something triggers you, ALWAYS UNFOLLOW BEFORE EVER SENDING HATE. If you feel called to tell that person how you feel, DO IT KINDLY. Step away from the person and situation unless you know them personally and know their heart.
HATE on the other hand is completely uncalled for. It is the stuff you would NEVER say to a human being to their face and is rude just for the sake of making yourself feel better. Hate is tearing another person down because something triggered you.
Here are just a couple of comments we have received that are hate-filled and not constructive in any way:
This is arguably the hardest to do. You can get a hundred praising comments and just one negative, but we all tend to zone in on the negative. Remember that all hate comes from a place of anger, jealousy, and bitterness at someone’s OWN situation. Hate is NOT a reflection of you and entirely a reflection of the person’s heart who wrote it.
Do not give hate comments an ounce of your attention. If it’s constructive, absolutely respond. If it’s hate, you are not obligated to give it attention. Delete if its slanderous or absolutely uncalled for.
For every hateful comment, we guarantee there’s a billion more positive love-filled ones.
Love always outweighs hate. Always.
Anytime you get a super positive, encouraging comment or email file it away in a folder called “Encouragement”. Revisit this folder to reinforce the impact you have and what you are doing.
Surround yourself with people who can speak truth into your life. They can be a balanced voice if you’re not sure if it’s constructive criticism or hate. They can speak truth when those lies are roaring too loud in your ears.
Don’t bear the burden alone. When you let others into that moment, you’re destroying the opportunity for it to fester. Talk to your close friend, spouse, or parents. Let them speak encouragement and truth into you.
Where is your worth coming from? Is it coming from others and their thoughts of you, or is it coming from the Lord?
When your identity is rooted in the Lord, He is unshakable and his truth always trumps lies.
The opinions of others are fickle and ever-changing. When you base your identity on outside opinions, you WILL crumble. If you are constantly feeling knocked down in life and like you are not enough, you might want to evaluate where your worth is coming from.
If you’re attacked by online hate, set it aside and go straight to the One who made you. Ask Him this: “What do You think of me?” “What do You think of this situation?” “How can I respond well to represent you best?”
Keep a journal of words that the Lord has spoken over you, about you, or to you. When you feel attacked or slandered, go straight to that and soak in His opinion of you.
“The moment that you accept the fact that you’ll never have 100% approval rating from others is the day you’ll be free to step into what God has given you to do.”
“You can be the juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be someone who hates peaches.”
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WASSUP FRIENDS. We’re Evie + Lindsey, co-founders of this wild partayyy called The Heart University. Our goal is to empower entrepreneurs to kick freaking BUTT in their businesses, dive down into the heart of their why and how, and serve you with all possible tools you’ll need to up-level your business game and CRUSH those goals of yours.
Whether you’re coming to an in-person workshop, joining our online course, or soaking up all the strategies via this blog or our podcast, we’re STOKED you’re here + can’t wait to see you out there kicking butt.
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