October 19, 2021
Today Evie has a special guest on the podcast…her HUSBAND, Landon!! Where they’re going to be having an honest and fresh conversation on marriage and newlywed life.
If you’re new here or haven’t seen, they just got married at the end of August and while Lindsey is out on maternity leave snuggled up with her precious newborn, we thought it would be fun to bring Landon onto the show so they can have a conversation about this season they’re in!
They polled YOU on what questions you had and they’re going to dive in and cover as many as they can today. They talked about everything from what it’s like to move in together for the first time, what they spent on their wedding, switching from not being able to have sex to having it, their opinion on communication in relationships, and SO MUCH MORE!
Evie: It hasn’t been hard, it’s just been new. It’s all the little things that you don’t think about, the moments and routines. It’s been new and you have to be intentional with it.
Landon: For us, it was a little bit of a process and it still is. It’s been a month of us living together full time, it’s getting more comfortable and natural. But coming home from the honeymoon was eye-opening in a lot of ways that I didn’t expect. Sharing a bed, having a roommate again, little things you don’t think about. It’s learning how to do life together, but it was a little uncomfortable the first couple of days and even weeks figuring out how to balance our schedules and sleep schedules. Every little thing I didn’t think about. It was a challenge for a little bit but it’s been so sweet.
Evie: I wasn’t expecting it to feel so Holy and powerful. Marriage is not like the fairy tales, as I would agree, I would also say I’ve seen aspects of the Father and His love for me and the gospel in our marriage in ways I never have in my life. On the flip side because of that and because I have seen so much of the Lord and experience Him in new ways, a spotlight has been shined in on areas of my weakness and sin that I had never seen before. It is very stretching. I didn’t expect to feel this early on into marriage both joy and also “oh shoot I am a terrible human being”.
Landon: Stepping into marriage there are so many incredible things about it. One of the things is it exposes a lot of who we are and especially to one another. It’s a little uncomfortable getting used to certain things, it is beautiful, but a little uncomfortable. I don’t know if there was a specific thing that I wasn’t expecting to see, it’s exposing and eye-opening to who we are as individuals.
Landon: Going into the wedding, originally we wanted to elope with just immediate family. As soon as we got in that season and got engaged I think we both felt something was missing if it was just immediate family. We decided to open it up to a larger group, our closest friends, who we are running in life with, who are special to us and point us to Jesus. Our goal with the wedding was to be surrounded by the people that we love and have it focused on the holiness and beauty of Jesus in our relationship and life through that. Hopefully what was reflected from it was a holy moment of the two of us coming together, serving one another, and showing the world we were going to pursue the Lord together as a married couple.
Evie: There are two words, holy and perfect. It was everything we wanted and both of us were able to be very present and in the moment. Focusing on the Lord and the covenant that we were stepping into, that’s exactly what we wanted.
Landon: Communication is huge, if you don’t have communication I’m not sure how you can get through without it. Communication is key, all the time. Communication is key not only in a marriage, in your life period. With family, friends, and even in the workplace.
Evie: It is, communication and communicating with someone else allows you to get on the same page, understand each other, to know the other person, to partner with the other person, to have them know you, to support and partner with you, and have them walk through life with you. We are not marriage experts but I think communication is one of the most important things.
Evie: Once the final bills went out the door we didn’t continue to track every penny, but we kept pretty close track until the very end. Just for the wedding was around 12k-14k.
Landon: Our goal was 10k and it was somewhere in that area.
Landon: It’s interesting how our brains work when we’re not allowed to do something or it’s not permitted for a long time and then all of a sudden it is. It takes time for some and can be a process but others are ready. That’s just being a human. For us, it’s a little bit of a process to work that out. Only a month into marriage I can’t give you a great answer. Maybe slightly, but for me, it wasn’t a big thing.
Evie: We’re still somewhat in the process, and might take a little while where it is fully normal and comfortable. There have been a couple of things that we did well or have tried to be intentional within this process. Preparing ourselves, our hearts, and our mindset leading up to that transition. Praying into it, seeking counsel, reading a book on sex within marriage and God’s design for it. I think that’s why I felt good heading into it because I feel like we put in a couple of months of preparation and getting myself in that mindset and preparing my heart. Spending time with the Lord praying and talking to the Lord about it before, during, and after. Inviting the creator in those moments with us and asking him to be a part of it and my heart and all of it. I am trying to refuse and not allow shame to enter something that is now Holy. By inviting the Lord into it and keeping my intention on the creator of it versus hiding it from Him.
Landon: Mick-loud, it’s Scottish and if you go back in our family history it was spelled MacLeod, there was an “a” added.
Landon: It’s different for every couple, you have to know where you are at and what you need. For us, we needed more time to work through personal stuff, date, and be friends. Nothing bad, we just needed that time to work through a lot and build a strong foundation for our relationship and friendship. We’ve known each other for five years, but we weren’t dating in my opinion for that long. It was a couple of years, we were friends for a bit of it. We then dated for six months the first time, broke up for a year, came back together, were friends for a year, and then dated for two and a half years before we got engaged. I wanted to take as much time as I needed and know 100% that God was telling me when the time was right. If you are still working through things and trying to build that foundation, I don’t think there is a need to rush that or feel pressured by people to do it because of social influence.
Evie: We were waiting for God and waiting on God’s timing. A lot of Christians have shorter engagements because you are trying to wait for sex in marriage. For a lot of Christians, they are waiting for that and it’s getting hard, and they really like each other, so let’s get engaged and get married. Not saying there is anything wrong with that but there is also nothing inherently wrong with waiting on the Lord for His timing when He says go. We had conversations about that and Landon wanted to know when God was saying, now, yes, go. For me too, that was both waiting on God’s yes for us.
Landon: With your personality and coming into a relationship, it’s good to remember to be gracious and patient with one another. Transitioning into a marriage is a big change for the two individuals. Understanding one another and taking the time to work through things. That season can include a lot of new things, so remembering to have fun and prioritizing those things.
Evie: God’s representation of His relationship with us, the church, his gospel message in our marriage. Remembering how holy this is and how much God wants to be a part of it is huge. Don’t take anything in the first year of marriage too seriously, just enjoy the process. Learning and growing together. Take everything lightly and have fun.
Evie: Heck yeah. I don’t know I would go back and change anything.
Landon: I would maybe give ourselves another couple of weeks. I was so overwhelmed the week or two before the wedding, so starting to plan things a little sooner maybe.
Evie: A lot of people who believe in the honeymoon phase or anticipate or talk about it, you’re treating love and your relationship and marriage as if it is happening to you versus you are in control and in charge of how you approach your relationship. Falling in love is what is happening to you, usually stems from infatuation, but choosing to stay in love and pursue deeper love with that person is effort. That’s not a bad thing, it’s the same thing as choosing to workout. It takes physical effort but the reward is so worth it. That’s the thing with marriage, can the butterflies ebb and flow, of course. There will be seasons where you are distracted, but that doesn’t mean that is supposed to be or meant to be. That is seasons of life and personally, in God’s design we are powerful people who can pursue each other in love and we can stay in that place of delight in each other and stepping in more love with each other throughout the years.
Landon: I don’t think you have to lose your passion and your love and delight and intensity for one another. It is not only there for the “honeymoon phase” and then gone. I don’t agree with the people that say “just wait a couple of years”, that is preparing for disaster and speaking out that that is going to happen. It’s a choice to pursue one another. There are seasons and times in our life where the butterflies and emotional highs of being infatuated with each other can be a little bit less intense in certain seasons and times in your relationship. When we know what it means to love one another we can intentionally pursue that and be intentional with building and going after that daily.
Landon: Communication is the number one thing. Talking through it and having the discussion. We also have times where we will reach out to other people for counsel and coaching through things.
Evie: We’ve learned a lot and have grown in communication and conflict resolution. We are not perfect, but it’s coming at those conversations with humility and a desire to learn from the other person and love them better versus “I want to win this argument”, It’s a different mindset to have when approaching conflict.
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WASSUP FRIENDS. We’re Evie + Lindsey, co-founders of this wild partayyy called The Heart University. Our goal is to empower entrepreneurs to kick freaking BUTT in their businesses, dive down into the heart of their why and how, and serve you with all possible tools you’ll need to up-level your business game and CRUSH those goals of yours.
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