On today’s episode, we’re sitting down for a heart to heart relationship chat. We’re giving five of our top relationship tools you can utilize to cultivate healthy, beautiful relationships. Whether it’s a friendship, romantic, business, or even family relationships, this episode is for you! 

This is a from-the-heart chat with loads of personal examples and raw behind the scenes look at our relationships, both from our love lives AND our business relationship and friendship, so if you’re looking for new ways to uplevel your relationships in life, keep on listening.

 

1.      Get Over Being “Right”

This is such a game changer. We’ve all heard the quote that relationships should be “50/50”. It is better to approach every relationship, whether that is family, friends, or business, with a 100/100 mindset, giving 100% of yourself to the other person. There is something so beautiful that comes when you know that you are able to give 100% of yourself with nothing held back. When you are living to love, serve, and lay down yourself for the other person and you also know the other person is approaching the relationship in the same viewpoint there is something that changes in the relationship that is so huge.

When you give 100% you aren’t coming from a selfish mindset. Make your focus on loving and serving the other person rather than focusing on if you are right or not. Don’t worry about winning the arguments, rather focus on loving and serving the other person the best you can.

When you switch your mindset from a selfish to a servant mindset, your relationships will flourish.

 

2.      Use “I Feel” Statements

If you are in an argument or disagreement and you are feeling hurt, instead of using attacking language such as, “You never listen” or “You always complain”, turn it back on you and say how you feel. This way, you aren’t attacking but rather saying how the situation makes you feel. The other person is more likely to listen to what you have to say if you use an “I feel” statement rather than an attacking statement.

Their guards are less likely to go up. The minute a person accuses you of something, your defenses go up. You are ready to fight. But, if someone comes up and says how they feel, you are more likely to engage in a civic conversation as opposed to a fight.

Avoiding the phrases “always” and “never” will really impact these types of conversations. These blanket statements don’t go over too well in arguments.

 

3.      Be Intentional With Time

When you are with your partner/friend/family really be there. Fully there. When you are not, you’re not. When you are with them, shut off work and be present. If you are working, work. Recognize that giving them 100% of your attention is going to completely transform your relationship with that person.

It hurts when you know someone isn’t fully giving you their whole attention.

Set boundaries. This can look like no phone in bed, no tv in the bedroom, no phones in the car or on dates, etc. Create a list of boundaries that allow you to be fully present and engaged with each person.

Set date nights! Even if you are married, keep dating your person. Set intentional date times and stick to them. Put it in the calendar and make it a habit. This can also apply to friendships. Sometimes it’s necessary to schedule times with friends.

 

4.      Understand Your Person

Understand their personality, what type of person they are, and how they think. This can look like diving into the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, etc. Know whether they are an introvert or extrovert. For example, Lindsey is an extrovert and Andrew, her husband, is an introvert. Andrew processes things internally, while Lindsey processes them externally. 

Recognize how your person feels loved the most and know their love language: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, or gifts. 

Finally, know what their trigger points are. Be aware of past hurts, family dynamics, and sore spots and keep these in mind when engaging in conversation. 

Seek every day to try to know your person more and deeper. Whether that is a friendship or a relationship. Seek to figure out more about them and how you can use that information to love the heck out of them.

 

5.      Over-Communicate

If there is one tip to take from today, it is to communicate, communicate, and then communicate again. Share your disappointments and tell them when you are upset. Share your expectations in every relationship. The more communication you can cultivate in a relationship, the better.

Work towards approaching your relationship with honesty, humility, and gratitude.

Make sure praise, love, and appreciation is expressed 1000% more than anything else in your relationship. 

Don’t be afraid to deal with something hard and avoid shoving it under the rug. Talk through things and don’t be passive in your relationship and communication. It can come from such a humble and non confrontational place. Express and communicate when expectations are not met. 

 

Episode Links

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