April 7, 2020
Today’s topic might make a LOT of you squirm and feel uncomfortable. Who out there is a notorious people pleaser? Does the thought of saying the word NO make you wanna hide under the covers and shut off all the lights? Anyone? We thought so.
We often end up saying YES to everything in an attempt to please everyone often at the expense of our business, friends, family, and life. When we say YES to everything, this means we are saying NO to something.
When you say yes to a client who you know doesn’t 100% fit with your business, you’re saying NO to peace of mind in the future. If you’re saying yes to a business opportunity that looks flashy in the moment, you’re saying NO to time spent with family later. So many of us KNOW we need to say no more often, but few know where to even start.
NO isn’t a dirty word. It’s a word that when utilized WELL, brings SO much peace and freedom to your life and business. So keep listening to find out HOW to tackle the scary word… NO.
And as an entrepreneur, there are two situations specifically where we can struggle to say no:
We need to learn to set boundaries in our life. By saying no we are putting our priorities where they need to be. Learning to say no, and to say it well, will completely change your lives.
When you give your energy to one thing, you do it well. Keep the main thing the main thing. When your priorities are split and you are going in a ton of different directions because you said yes to everything, you can’t focus, stay organized, or keep your main thing the main thing in your life or business.
When you say yes, you are also saying no. You have to keep this in mind. When you are saying yes to something, ask yourself who or what you are saying no to as a response to that. What are you putting aside and deprioritizing in order to say yes to that one situation or person?
If an opportunity or client presents itself, the first thing to check is if your soul immediately comes alive. Does that opportunity make your soul come alive, or do you have immediate dread?
Do you have an immediate yes reaction? If it’s a hell yes, it is a yes. If it’s a maybe, it gets shifted to the no category. You need to have an immediate yes reaction.
Does it fit in with your brand identity and mission? Does this opportunity get you towards your ultimate goal and top priority? Think about what your business goals are and where your life is heading and assess whether this opportunity falls in line with that. Make sure it matches up with your core beliefs.
Jordan Dooley encourages people to ask themselves how they will feel about that “yes” in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. Take a step back from the situation in that moment and look at it from a bird’s eye perspective.
Finally, ask yourself if you actually want to take the opportunity or are you just worried about letting someone down. The fear of letting people down has got to stop. Don’t live your life out of fear of what people are going to say. When you set boundaries and are true to who you are, you are going to thrive and be blessed in your life. Your priorities will be in line. Then, you won’t be living out of a fear mindset, but out of an abundance mindset. The word no is abundant. By saying no you are saying yes to the things that are on your plate that are a priority.
As you continue to grow, there will be more and more demands on your time, attention, and energy. We need to practice saying no early on.
When you are reviewing an opportunity, ask yourself if you are the right fit for that person. Learn to analyze objectively if you are the best person for that person or project.
Here’s how to actually say no:
“I wish I had the capacity for this right now, but unfortunately, with my current workload I wouldn’t be able to give it 100%.”
“Thanks so much for thinking of me! I truly wish I could say yes right now, but I’m learning how to say ‘no’ in this season to give my full attention to my current projects as well as creating space for rest. I wish you all the best!”
If someone is reaching out and wants something from you such as a collaboration, blog post, coffee date, etc. and you know it’s not the right fit, try this:
“Thanks so much for reaching out! I know how hard it can be to ask for support, so WAY TO GO! Unfortunately, I get so many requests of this nature that this is a commitment I can no longer make. This resource may be useful for you though! *insert link* Best of luck!”
“I’m so honored you thought of me for this project! I’ve thought long and hard about this, and while I’m so excited for what you’re doing and would love to be a part of it, I don’t have capacity for more right now. I’m cheering you on, though! Can’t wait to see how this turns out.”
“Thanks, but I can’t right now. Best of luck!”
“No, thank you!”
Be careful with saying “no, but maybe later” unless you TRULY mean that. By saying “maybe later” you’re just trying to let them down easy and you may end up denying them multiple times. DON’T USE THIS AS AN EASY OUT.
If it’s a client and you know they are not the right fit for one or reason or another, try this:
“I’m so beyond honored that you reached out and have given me so much time and excitement inquiring with me!!! I’m so passionate about giving every single one of my clients 100% of me and making sure I’m the PERFECT ____ (photographer, coach, vendor, etc)___ for them. And like I stated in my first email, I’m NOT the perfect fit for everyone. I absolutely LOVE you guys and everything about you and your story/project. But after carefully thinking over this and looking at my current workload, I don’t think I’m the perfect fit for you. This breaks my heart and it’s absolutely my least favorite part of my job… but I’ve learned that in order for you to get the BEST experience possible, I sometimes have to say no to get you with that perfect person. Here’s a list of people I really think would be the perfect fit for your project. I’m here to make sure you get with the PERFECT person, so if I can help you find them PLEASEEEE let me know! I’m so excited for this project for you!!!”
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WASSUP FRIENDS. We’re Evie + Lindsey, co-founders of this wild partayyy called The Heart University. Our goal is to empower entrepreneurs to kick freaking BUTT in their businesses, dive down into the heart of their why and how, and serve you with all possible tools you’ll need to up-level your business game and CRUSH those goals of yours.
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