Today’s episode is spiicccyyyyyyy. We sat down for a fun lifestyle and relationship Q&A and the questions you sent us are GOOOD.
Today we get into questions like how do you make a house a home, how do you cultivate Godly sexual and emotional intimacy with your husband, and how do we build healthy adult friendships and community in our lives.
Hilary: How do you make a house a home?
The more you invest your heart in your home, the more it will feel like a sanctuary. That can look like: spending time on projects and ideating fun DIY projects, praying over the home, and even in your mind changing how you think about your home.
Furniture and decor are nice and do make a difference when it’s stuff you love, but even more so what makes your house a home is the spirit and culture you create within it. Invite people over even when you don’t have everything put together.
Brooklyn: What does it look like to have Godly emotional and physical intimacy with your husband?
Have healthy communication about everything: including sex. Talk through sexpectations.
How often do you want/need to have it? When is the best time? How can you best turn each other on or serve each other? If one of us isn’t in the mood how do we communicate that to each other?
Don’t be afraid to have fun. Understanding that sex within the context of marriage is how the Lord intended it to be and it’s not bad. It’s fun. Learn to enjoy it. Learn to try new things. Get creative. Have fun with it. Explore each other. Read books about sex together and talk about them.
Emotional Intimacy Side:
Honoring your husband. Honor your spouse. Never talk badly about him, never put him down, honoring him with your actions and words even when he’s not around. Honor him in everything that you do.
Pray together morning or evening. This can be something that is so holy and sacred.
Using “I Feel” statements vs. attacking “You did this” statements. If you’re ever in a disagreement, instead of just trying to make your argument known, step back and actually listen to how the other person feels.
Have weekly date nights to maintain connection and intimacy. It can be after the kids go to bed, it doesn’t have to be a fancy trip or dinner out. Spend regular time building connection and intimacy. Do things together that you love.
Flirt the heckkkk out of each other. Leave sexy little notes or texts. Whispering in his ear as he heads out to work. Smack his butt when he’s walking by. Keep things fun, playful, new, and exciting. Be intentional to never stop the pursuit of your spouse – their heart, mind, soul, AND body!!!
Kyrie: How do you build community and healthy adult friendships?
Seek them out. Get plugged into a church, small group, or community activity. Intentionally invite people over or attend things where you can meet friends.
Carve out time for friendships as an adult. It can be really tough to make time for phone calls, Facetimes, hangouts, etc when you have a business to run, kids to take care of, etc. But it’s so crucial to be available for friendships. Community is huge. So set aside time (schedule it into your calendar) to grab coffee with a girl from church, go thrifting with a friend, facetime a long-distance friend, have a kid’s park playdate with a fellow mom, etc!
Be open and vulnerable with people. Communicate where you’re at, and what’s going on in life, and ask deep questions back. Ask what God’s teaching them. Ask how they’re doing with their first pregnancy. Offer to help them pack up for their move to their new house, etc.
The bottom line though is that healthy friendships and healthy relationships are a two-way street. Each person should be seeking to love and bless the other person even more than they “get” something out of it. That ends up turning into the most beautiful and rich friendship bond, I promise.
And last but NOT least: pray into your friendships. If you’re feeling lonely or that you haven’t found your people, take it before the Lord and ask Him to open doors to godly, healthy friendships that you can pour into and be poured into from.
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